Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
