Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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