Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
