yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
