If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
