I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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