At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
