I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
its not stalking. its research.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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