nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
