I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
