I want to walk on stilts...naked
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
