mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
