I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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