OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
