D3 body, D1 cock
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
