Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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