Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
