He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
