batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
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