what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We are all done wearing pants today
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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