I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
