ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
