what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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