I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
