i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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