how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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