He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
