just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
