I only kidnapped one of them. chill
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
