So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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