just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
