doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
