DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
