Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
