East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
