make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
