Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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