if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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