ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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