She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
