We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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