just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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