Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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