Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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