my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize