he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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