"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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