There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
