How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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