I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize