It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
