I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
did i walk over a car last night?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
