dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
