They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
