The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
