This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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