Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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