Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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