love makes seman taste better
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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