I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
one might say we're banned from that church
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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