no. you can't hotbox the world.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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