I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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