I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
