When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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