Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
