wakey wakey hands off snakey
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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