I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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