How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
