But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
