Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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